Kenny Of Falmouth

Thursday 23rd July. Harbour Lights
About two years ago, aged 18, I went to the British Legion Club on a Saturday night with Becky, Jerry, Jan, Shirley, Lucinda and her cousins and Kenny.

Kenny’s estimated age is 76. He pretends to be a captain of the seas but rumour has it, he’s never set foot on a boat. He sells mackerel for 50p each from a bucket outside Tesco. The real captain in Falmouth told Kenny to take his white-washed peaked hat off.
Anyway, back to the Legion. Kenny and I were the first on the dance floor and the band was a Country and Western type. We gave it the full works’ and everyone applauded and laughed.

Shirley and Jan said it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen which upset me greatly.

Me and Becky used to do keep fit moves at Shades. We hadn’t even drunk; we couldn’t afford it.

But that night at the Legion, I had fun but didn’t expect that laughter.



To be fair to the people who we’re laughing, we must have been a sight. Anyway, for the following two years, after the suggestion that we take our act to London, Kenny ‘has been looking for me’. Today he came into Harbour Lights.

Connie thought he’d taken a liking to me

She winked and me and said ‘get on with your work’

Kenny- Jo. Will you come to the Legion with me on Saturday night and we’ll dance like we did before; and Becky’ll come too
Jo- I’m working. Maybe next Saturday.
Kenny- ok. Saturday week.

At this point, Connie dragged me away, Kenny mouthed ‘she’s mad’ about Connie and Connie told me not to talk to him or he’ll be encouraged to come back all the time. So I went and hid behind the spatulas and heard him calling ‘Jo! Jo!’ So I popped my head up

I didn’t go the following week. It would be odd to really. But it’s a shame, it was everso innocent and I did love to dance.