Trago Mills Revisited

Art School Diary, Falmouth


‘The reason that it’s so easy to see what people have bought from Trago Mills is that they aren’t given free bags

A plastic mat, rolled; another with 2 large Panasonic batteries. A sleeping bag and a foldaway table. A see through corrugated porch’

‘A young boy with a tent. A lady with 2 plastic wheel covers. A shelf kit in suction wrap and a drum of Danish Oil. Bamboo canes. Catering size container of bleach. A red plastic washing up bowl with other purchases inside. More bamboo canes. Two polystyrene surfboards (one on a head, the other under the arm). A smiling flirting lumberjack with 4 bars of Imperial Leather’


‘A roll of carpet, some long wood, a Casserole dish, a large roll of bin liners and a belt’

‘Some wire mesh, more long wood and 4 large matching containers of something. A limping lady with ‘Elite Luxury Carseat Covers’.


A lady just asked me where she could buy wine or beer. I told her- halfway through town – about 7 minutes walk, there's an off licence so they might be open on a Sunday. My window is like a tourist information window. Except they're ungrateful and I'm very helpful.

Me and a lovely little boy just had a face pulling competition through the window. He won. He spat a raspberry all over the glass. I merely grimaced.
2 x 21 firelighters under the arm of a young maiden. 2 old ladies asked me how regular the Hoppa Buses are and a lady just asked me where the Tourist Information Office is’.

Coming soon- The Shoplifting Episode.

My top three Trago Departments are:
Art materials (and crafts) for bulk
Kitchenware for Cornish blue stripe
Shoes for pure comedy

What about you?