I thought Tony Hart lived at TV Centre, up the corridor from The Beatles. Tony Hart sent me his autograph, and Sarah Greene’s. What a dear thing to do.

I know some people would think this is soppy or worse, showing off. ‘fun time’ on my packing list generally means pens, sketchbook, novel, other book, third book, paint box, knitting.

I’ve discovered that lots of families sing a running commentary of their lives. We end all our commentaries with a plaintive and slow ‘tonight’, instead of having to rhyme.

‘Love and hearts’ is our sarcastic phrase for something good. Like a cup of tea, or a nice walk or whatever. Steamer Trading refunded my substandard Stanley Flask because it cost four hundred pounds. It truly was a flask of arse and doom.

I like Monday’s now so things are looking up. Maybe these were the days when I had an office job. It was part time and I loved all the stationary involved. 

Dream job. I wrote this to make my friend Joe laugh.